Putting it out there

My will goes out like a pulse into the universe. It doesn’t matter if anyone ever reads this. It’s my will emanating out, influencing others, manifesting my own reality and affecting that of others.

I am adjusting my peptides. My cells are adjusting their receptors. I am slowly moving away from re-creating my miserable anxiety-ridden marriage. I am moving away from trying to predict the future, to game the reactions of others, to control response and emotion.

More hours than not I am feeling that hugeness and it is indescribably beautiful in ways that seem corny to me, the unsentimental, the stripped down, the writer to whom everything is “material.”

That positivity, that connection.  When anxiety about the future happens, I search for that connection and it’s so much easier to find now that I know my body is adjusting to the new pattern.